I binged last night. So much so that I nearly threw up. THAT has never happened to me before. I’ve overeaten, but I’ve never dry heaved into the toilet. This happened as I was trying to get out the door with my kids to go to the library.
When I say binge, I mean consuming an extreme amount of food in very little time. I ate a cheese stick (starting off with healthy choices), a granola bar, a giant bowl of cereal (Cookie Crisps), chocolate chips, and around 5oz of M&M’s. To give that some context, a regular bag you get at the store is 1.69oz. I felt physically awful.
I kept waiting for the fear, disappointment, shame to come after such a spectacle and then to almost throw up because my body was revolting. I was waiting for the flood of tears for betraying my body yet again, but it never came…nothing. I did not feel anything except the physical grossness.
I’ve been toying with the idea of yoga since I got into the “self-help” arena. I know so many who say that yoga is a great way to connect to the body and to feel. I picture everyone in their cute outfits, chanting “ohm” and breathing. Changing position every so often. Feeling relaxed, connected, grounded and centered when you leave.
Have you ever been in a funk you couldn’t get out of? It’s exhausting, draining, toxic on you and everyone around you. Everyday feels like a rainy, dreary day. It’s been too long since you felt excited about something. I have felt this way for over two months before. It took someone hitting me over the head with some real self examination at my habits to discover how to get myself out of the funk!
So I googled it.