The Morning That Went Off the Rail

This morning, my entire routine was thrown off. My husband got up late and was using the computer I needed for my workout. The one morning I actually managed to wake up early, and I had to wait—it felt so unfair.

Then, as I was trying to shake off the frustration, child #3 stealthily crept into the kitchen. When I turned around, he was just standing there—scaring the bejesus out of me. But hey, at least we got a little unexpected cuddle time out of it.

I pushed forward, getting child #2 and #1 up and ready for school. #3 decided to tag along to “play” with #2, which quickly escalated—#2 kicked #3 in the head while still in bed. Lovely. By the time I made it downstairs, I witnessed an all-out sibling battle—#2 wailing on #3, #3 kicking back, both of them screaming and crying.

Apparently, #3 had thrown #2’s Kindle onto the pile of electronics, and #2 was convinced it was an intentional attack on his prized possessions. Meanwhile, #3 just repeated, She’s mean.

At that moment, I jumped in with the classic use your words, not your fists speech. I reminded them that if something goes wrong, we talk it out, and if that doesn’t work, they should come get me.

Crisis somewhat averted, I continued with our morning routine. But then, #3 walked in for breakfast, and I saw his face. Three deep red scratch marks ran down his cheek—one even bleeding. My heart sank. I was furious, disappointed, and heartbroken all at once. Another long, one-sided discussion about handling emotions without using hands (or nails) followed.

And then I just sat there.

The agony of a good morning lost, the calm shattered—it’s a feeling that’s hard to shake. It was not my best parenting moment. The shame and anger I felt while delivering my so-called “wise parenting” monologue to #2 made me realize something deeper was going on.

How I Turned the Morning Around

In moments like this, I have two choices:
❌ Let the chaos dictate my entire day
✅ Find a way to reset

And honestly? I needed a reset.

After finishing our morning routine, we headed out the door. Once I dropped them off at daycare, I took a deep breath and let myself sit with the frustration—but not feed it.

I asked myself:

• Why was I so angry and disappointed?
• Where did the morning go wrong?
• How can I adjust in the future?

Then, I remembered something I’d been reading in The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali Tsabary:
💡 Our children are mirrors of our own unresolved emotions.

The truth hit hard—I wasn’t just angry at the morning’s chaos. I felt out of control, and instead of pausing to regulate my emotions, I tried to regain control by making my middle child feel the way I felt.

I used guilt and shame as tools for “discipline,” but in reality, I was projecting my own emotions onto her. My frustration spilled over, making her feel ashamed—just as I had felt.

That realization stung.

But it also opened my eyes. I can handle these situations differently. I can shift my approach.

3 Mindful Parenting Strategies for Handling Morning Chaos

If you struggle with stressful mornings like I do, here’s what I’m learning:

1️⃣ Shift Expectations

Mornings don’t have to go exactly as planned to work. I can adjust, pivot, and move forward. If things go off track, I can find an alternative rather than let frustration take over.

2️⃣ Respond, Don’t React

When my frustration starts bubbling up, I can pause before reacting. Taking a deep breath, stepping away for a moment, or even choosing silence can prevent me from acting out of anger.

3️⃣ Reflect, Learn, and Heal

Instead of dwelling on how the morning should have gone, I can reflect on why I reacted the way I did. Every frustrating moment is a chance to recognize patterns and heal that part of myself.

This wasn’t just a lesson in parenting—it was a lesson in self-awareness.

A Life-Changing Book for Parents Who Want to Break the Cycle

One book that has completely changed the way I parent is The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali Tsabary.

📖 It teaches that parenting isn’t just about raising children—it’s about raising ourselves. It helps us recognize our triggers, heal old wounds, and respond to our children with more awareness.

If you’re feeling stuck in patterns of frustration, control, or guilt, this book is a must-read:

Hope for Tomorrow

Not every morning will be smooth. Some will feel like a total disaster. But I’m learning that even in the chaos, there’s a way to ground myself, reset, and move forward.

So if your morning ever feels like an unhinged roller coaster, take a moment. Breathe. Find one small win. And maybe, just maybe, give yourself five minutes to reset before diving into the rest of the day.

Tomorrow is a new chance. And if all else fails? There’s always TikTok. 🎭